Alumni Spotlight: Kerry Billings

Kerry Billings is a recent graduate of University of Wisconsin-Madison, having graduated this past spring with a Bachelor of Science in Theater and a major in English with a Creative Writing emphasis, as well as a playwright, director, and actor. Fresh out of her final college performance in University Theatre’s The Underpants, I sat down with Kerry in early May and asked her about her time at UW, her involvement in the Undergraduate Theatre Association, and her plans for the future.

Me: So, starting in such a manner that is professional: When did you first get started with UTA?

Kerry: Uh, I think the first real time I remember getting involved in UTA is when people needed help for things? They’d be like “Ah, we have no one to costume this show! You are alright at costumes, we know you worked in that shop for awhile. Why don’t you help?” And I was like “I CAN do that”, and I was not wrong, I could do that, and I did.

Me: Do you remember what show you started on?

Kerry: Doubt.

Me: Oh, so like, this year then?

Kerry: Yeah. I didn’t know it was a thing!

Me: How did you find out about UTA? Or was it literally just like, “we need a costumer. Hey!”

Kerry: I found out about it because people were like “Ahh, you going to that thing?”, and I was like “What thing?”, and they were like “Ahh, this thing! It’s the UTA meeting!” And I was like “Sure?” And so I did. Also, it was after summer and I just missed people and everybody was going to it, and I was way too involved to not go to the first UTA meeting. None of these questions are gonna be useable for you.

Me: It’s fine. If nothing else, it’ll just be your headshot and just like...“I’m Kerry Billings.” Do you have any particularly fond memories from your time with UTA?

Kerry: I really liked all the things I was involved with with them. Like...over this past year I’ve been involved in...every show we’ve put up? So, that’s pretty neat. I liked costuming. I hated costuming, but I also liked costuming. I really liked working on Romeo and Juliet. And I like UTA’s mission to get people more involved, because I feel like it does put forth an effort to create more involvement. I think that’s a good basis to form a club, to just try and give them more opportunities, whether that be acting, directing, costuming, stage management, lights, all of that. It’s good to have an org that is trying to give people more to do, because UT puts on such small shows, and it’s hard for undergrads to be involved in the design process, because we’ve got grad students, and that’s a problem. It’s nice to have an org that’s trying to create more opportunity.

Me: What are your post graduation plans?

Kerry: I could tell you post-graduation dreams?

Me: Dreams works too.

Kerry: Maybe I’ll go to Minneapolis. I’m really, really highly considering it. I’m always afraid of like….I feel like most people are afraid of failure, in some sense. And I’m not afraid of failure as much as I’m afraid that...I’m not good enough to do anything at this point...And I shouldn’t like, take risks. I know they say “take risks” but I don’t know what risks to take. And I don’t know what I’m doing with my life or where I’m going, partially because I didn’t assume I would get this far. But look, I’m gettin’ this far! I shouldn’t be getting this far, someone shoulda stopped me at some point, and they didn’t.

Me: Why?

Kerry: I dunno, like...I shouldn’t be graduating right now! I shouldn’t. Like, I can’t do all the things I did and still graduate.

Me: But ya did. You did a lot of really cool things. And you’re graduating, on time. Do you wanna do anything with writing post graduation?

Kerry: Yeah. That would be a good plan.

Me: Like what? What is your dream?

Kerry: My dream is that I create a tie that like, gives ducks the ability to talk, and they tell me all the secrets that ducks know. ‘Cause you know they know secrets, you look in their eyes and you know. Uh, my dream-

Me: That is...I legitimately mean this, that is definitely going in the blogspot. For sure.

Kerry: (laughing) No!

Me: No...it has to.

Kerry: No, Ben! Okay, uh, my actual dream. What is my actual dream? I’d really like to do something with writing. I don’t know if I’m good enough to do something with writing, and I don’t know…like, the steps to take in order to do something with writing. I went to school and I majored in it, hoping that someone would be like “Okay, here’s the steps, this is how you do the thing”. Nobody told me! That’s something for the people who are reading, if they want advice: find someone who will tell you how to do the thing that you wanna do. Don’t just go to the University. It’s great, it gives you great experiences, you’ll learn a lot of stuff. It’s great in that respect and it’ll help you grow as a performer, because you’ll have so many opportunities and so many things to do, but find someone who can give you a way to apply your knowledge, because once you get out of school, you gotta find a way to apply it in the real world. You can’t just stay at University forever, and you’re gonna need to know how to do that, and nobody tells you! They don’t tell you in classes, they kind of like, hint at it, but they never go into it, and that’s always unfortunate, because people do hint at it a lot where they’re just like “Ahhh, maybe this, maybe that, this is what I did” and it’s like “Yeah, but that’s like a case study”. Like, there’s so many case studies out there that people will tell you is a way to do your things, but you gotta find a way that’s applicable to you, and there’s no way to teach that! And I feel like both the things I’m getting involved in, there’s no way to like, teach it. Like I would really like to write plays, because I feel like I’m good at that. I think that everybody knows a thing or two that they’re good at. And if they haven’t realized it yet, there’s something that they’re good at and they should be willing to admit that to themselves, because no one’s completely flawed, no one’s flawed all the way through, no one’s void of talent. So...yeah, that’s my opinion on that. But I’m good at writing. I think I am, I’ve done it way too much, I started writing plays when I was like in second grade, which is very far back now. Like, I’m not in second grade anymore. I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m not. But yeah, I would like to continue to write plays and get ‘em performed. I’d like to write something that’s full, ‘cause I’ve written a lot of one acts, and I’ve written a couple that’re like...pretty long. But I’ve never written a full, full play. I’d like to write more than one act plays, like, a book might be fun? That’s more consistent, and I feel like it’s easier to publish a book than to get a play put up.

Me: True. I mean, if you brought a play back here…

Kerry: That’s true.

Me: People would love to do that, I think. Not necessarily as one of our shows, but it’d be a fun little thing.

Kerry: Like “Here, let’s have a UTA weekend!” Like“Ah, the Kerry Billings Spooktacular!” And I wouldn’t mind putting that up. I’ve got enough plays.

Me: Yeah! Like if you had put up a play or you had written something new and you really wanted to see it put up, we could do that.

Kerry: If I wrote a full length, would you put it up, Ben?

Me: Me personally? Out of my own money?

Kerry: Just like, would you be a part of it?

Me: Probably.

Kerry: Yeah. I’ll be like “Hey! What about this?” (both laugh) That’s what it would say, in the email header. “Hey, WHAT ABOUT THIS??”

Me: Please! I need you to remember that. “Hey, what about this” has got to be the email header if that happens.

Kerry: Okay. I’ll also probably end up at grad school, ‘cause I’m just a huge nerd. Like I’ve said before, there’s no reason I should have graduated in the four years I graduated, especially given all the circumstances. I went to four schools, maybe I shouldn’t graduated in four years. Maybe someone should’ve stopped me. Maybe it should’ve been YOU listener. Or reader.

Me: You personally are responsible!

Kerry: You’re personally the reason why I’m graduating, ‘cause you didn’t stop me! You’re the reason I’m leaving.

Me: One of you is supposed to be her nemesis, dang it!

Kerry: I’m like your dad: you’re the reason I left. (both laughing) That’s awful, don’t put that in! (laughing continues)

Me: I want to, though!

Kerry: No!

Me: There’s so many excellent things that the readers need to know.

Kerry: They need to know that I’m like their dad?? That’s such a mean joke, some people are worried that they’re the reason that their parents left. (to recorder) You’re not the reason your parents left, by the way. If your parents left, it’s ‘cause they’re shitty people. I’m sorry if you don’t wanna hear that, I’m sorry if you idolize the people who leave you, but you can’t do that, it’s problematic and it’s not good for you.

Me: This interview is actually really a self-help book. We’re gonna sit here and talk long enough to populate the entire contents of a self-help book.

Kerry: I haven’t finished my post-graduation plans.

Me: So once you’re done abandoning our readers just like their dad did…

Kerry: I have like a dream plan and I have a plan that’s practical. And I have a problem…’cause like, ugh, I don’t wanna be practical. That sounds dumb. Obviously you should be practical if it’s a given opportunity. But like, people always say “Go after your dreams, like, you’re only young once. If you really want something, go and get it.” And I really want the things that I want. But as we’ve talked about before, failing is a thing. And I wanna be practical and I want to like, put myself in a good place for the future.

Me: What is your practical plan?

Kerry: My practical plan would be to become a teacher, because I feel like I would be a good teacher. Like, I love kids, I love working with people: younger, older, all the ages, and I’m a good teacher, I’ve taught people before. I was arts and crafts specialist last year and a little bit of the year before that, for the camp I work at. And like, most of it was teaching the kids how to do art, and like, going around and helping. And I really felt like I was teaching them something and they were learning. It was great to see them get it, and pick it up, so when the crafts were things that they could use outside of the camp, like we would make head bands or water bottle holders, and I would see them walking with them around camp, it was like “Oh, I did something in their life that is of value”. Like, I don’t know if you know this about me, BEN and listeners…(laughs) I’m acting like we’re on a podcast.

Me: Also, they’re readers. I was calling them viewers, you’ve been calling them listeners. They’re readers, they’re gonna be reading this.

Kerry: Okay. Alright. Uhh, I don’t know! I don’t know if you know this, uh, readers...

Me: Blogsters?

Kerry: Blogsters. But one of the things that is really important to me is the happiness of the people around me, like, very high key. I will go out of my way to make sure that, even if I don’t know them that well, that’s the people I’m drawn to, because I’m like “Ahh, they have a problem? I can help. I can make them feel better.” Even if it’s like, “There’s no way I can solve your problems, but I can give you a hug and sometimes that makes it better”. I’m not gonna put on the facade that I can fix anybody’s problems, not even my own, but...if I can make someone’s life a little better, that’s worthwhile to me, and I feel like teaching is a good way to do that. Like, especially if you teach something significant and valid. I’d probably end up teaching English more than Theatre, even though Theatre is really important to me, because English is a more readily available job, and I’m all about jobs! Steve Jobs? He’s out there somewhere. Didn’t really die.

Me: They never found his body.

Kerry: Yeah.

Me: They did. They found it. It’s buried. It didn’t ever go anywhere.

Kerry: They found it? It was never missing.

Me: Right. They found it...right away. Like, right at the first moment it was a body.

Kerry: Like, I don’t know what I’m gonna do with my life, is my post graduation plan. I’ve tried to give myself paths that I could go to, because above all, I try and be practical, and I try and like, have a plan, but I never have a plan, and I’m also incredibly, incredibly indecisive. Ben, you can confirm this.

Me: I can relate, also.

Kerry: I’m- No, but I’m more indecisive. And you know that, I’m the worst. When I figure something out, I’m very decisive and very stubborn, but it takes me a bit.

Me: Mhm.

Kerry: I don’t know what things it holds, but once I figure out my path, like, you can damn well bet I’m gonna be real intense about it, you’re gonna be like “Calm the FUCK down, Kerry!”

Me: And then your nemesis is gonna show up.

Kerry: Wouldn’t that be great? I wish I had a nemesis, because then they’d give my life a purpose, I’d have something to fight against. Like, because right now I don’t have a purpose.

Me: You have a purpose, you just don’t have an antagonist.

Kerry: I’m sure I have a purpose, I don’t know what it is. So that’s my practical plan.

Me: So what is Kerry’s dream plan post graduation?

Kerry: Alright, Kerry’s dream plan. I would like to write stuff, mostly dialogue. I’m very heavy on the dialogue, mostly because I write plays. I’d like to write plays that make a difference, and are notable, and get put on. That would be nice, like mostly that they get put on. I’d like to write other things, too, like books would be fun. I have a lot of ideas, I have a lot of ideas for a lot of nonsense. I don’t have to not be an English teacher to write these things, but like...it’d be fun if I could live off that.

Me: Yeah.

Kerry: That would be a good goal.

Me: That’s always a great thing to have, to live off the dream.

Kerry: If I could write, like, movies would be fun to write. TV would be fun to write. Commercials even. I’m good at marketing.

Me: Are you? Have you marketed things?

Kerry: I have. I’m more good in a conceptual sense. Like, Kerry could conceptually market a lot of things, rather than doing the actual work of it, like being a Facebook person. But I’m pretty good at pitching things and coming up with slogans for things, and finding a colorful way articulate things, which I think you can probably gather.

Me: I can probably gather from the hour we’ve been interviewing?

Kerry: I know, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Ben! I’d also like to direct stuff, if that would be okay.

Me: (laugh) If that’s alright with me?

Kerry: If that’s alright with you, Ben. (to recorder) And with you, reader.

Me: Dear reader.

Kerry: Like, dear reader, if it would be... Beause I really like directing stuff, I have a lot of fun doing it.

Me: You’ve directed like four things?

Kerry: I’ve directed quite a few things.

Me: Oh, I didn’t know that.

Kerry: I directed stuff in high school too. I’d really like to keep directing stuff, but that’s another thing where I don’t know how I would seek that path.

Me: Yeah.

Kerry: Hey reader. You gotta be prepared to make your own plan, reader. Like, because you are probably a theatre person if you are reading this blog. Gotta be prepared to make your own way, which is very challenging. And...it’s very scary when you don’t give yourself enough time to come up with a plan. Please give yourself enough time to come up with a plan and figure out what you’re gonna do with the rest of your life while you’re still here. People will keep asking you, they ask you a lot, it’s very standard. Figure out what you’re gonna do. Give them an answer. Give yourself an answer. There you go.

Me: I think that’s a solid note to end on. Do you think we wanna leave the reader with that?

Kerry: (various indecisive noises)

(both laugh)